


The marks we bare

by Sadlyamundane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, M/M, Soulmates, angsty, self hatred, soulmark, tbh alot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:27:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8319100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadlyamundane/pseuds/Sadlyamundane
Summary: Simon knew as much as anyone what a soulmate was. He knew that he had a soulmate, he’d spent countless nights tracing the elegant curves and loops that formed the RS on his wrist.Raphael knew better than most what a soulmate was. He’d spent decades watching people around him find there’s, vampires, warlocks, mundanes and shadowhunters all have them. Except he doesn’t. He’d be damned if he did. Monsters aren’t allowed to love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> TBH THIS STORY IS A MESS BUT KUDOS AND COMMENTS ARE WELCOMED IF YOU STAY TILL THE END!!
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO ALWAYS UP TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS PAIRING ON MY TUMBLR @sadlyamundane

Simon knew as much as anyone what a soulmate was. He knew that he had a soulmate, he’d spent countless nights tracing the elegant curves and loops that formed the RS on his wrist.

Raphael knew better than most what a soulmate was. He’d spent decades watching people around him find there’s, vampires, warlocks, mundanes and shadowhunters all have them. Except he doesn’t. He’d be damned if he did. Monsters aren’t allowed to love.

Or so he thought. His soulmark came some eighteen or nineteen years ago, a messy scrawl of SL. He doesn’t admit it Magnus when the other had mention that his had finally appeared as well. A neatly written AGL written across his chest.

He doesn’t want to admit to himself, that somewhere, someone is probably looking at his initials on their wrist with hope. Monsters aren’t allowed to love. So he prays that god is not watching over him but is watching over the one unfortunate enough to receive his mark.

Then Raphael kidnaps this mundane, he tries to keep the boy away from Camille but it doesn’t work.

He finds Simon’s body in the lounge, the dim light cast a soft glow over his pale skin. Then he sees it. It could have been anyone’s initials, many people have the same name, could have been Ron Smith or Rose something, but Raphael had written those letters the exact same way for decades he’d recognize the loop at the bottom of the R and the curve that joins it to the S anywhere.

Simon Lewis. SL. This mundane was his soulmate? He’d kidnap the boy and brought him to Camille, he was responsible for the boy’s death. Monsters are allowed to love. He takes Simon to the shadowhunters, he gives them a choice, a choice that should have been rightfully made by himself but he’s not selfish, he can’t turn the boy.

But Simon is turned aways. And he hates himself. Raphael tries to talk to him, convince him. But he’s right Raphael is a monster. Raphael doesn’t say anything when Simon calls him one, he knows it. But Simon’s no monster and Raphael feels guilty and hurt when Simon refers to himself as one.

Raphael is cautious when he’s around Simon, the boy is in love with the Fairchild girl. Raphael thinks that soulmate aren’t always supposed to be romantic love, he enjoys spending time with Simon, training him, teaching him the vampires customs and his rights as a downworlder.

Monsters are allowed to love but Simon Lewis is no monster and he loves Raphael Santiago. He doesn’t know when it happens, perhaps it’s during the nights that they talk about families and friends and things they like.

Simon knows that the RS on his wrist might be Raphael but he doesn’t ask he can’t, Raphael’s perfect, almost angelic, he’s everything Simon wanted and nothing he can have. After all Raphael seems to hate him regardless of how much they had bonded over the first few weeks he’s at the hotel DuMort.

“I’m disappointed in you” Raphael said, his voice steady and cruel, his eyes betrayed the hurt.

Simon traces the RS at night, he lays awake while everyone’s asleep. Magnus helps him a lot but Raphael, Raphael is all he can think of.

The the battle comes, Magnus had convinced Raphael as much as he could to help them. And the vampires show up, Raphael standing front and center of the clan, he meets the shadowhunters halfway.

Simon watched from behind Alec as Raphael lifted a hand to stop Clary from saying something. Nothing is fascinating about the way Raphael acted with Clary, after all Camille was free because Jocelyn Fairchild needed to be helped. What really caught Simon’s eye was the marking on Raphael’s wrist. Raphael was wearing a black short sleeve tee shirt, something Simon had never seen him in before.

Simon had a perfectly carved RS on his wrist and Raphael had a poorly written SL on his.

Simon felt hopeful for a moment but then the loud howls and war cries said that the enemies had arrived.

Bodies fell from both sides. One minute Raphael was fight by Simon’s side then he wasn’t. Dawn drew closer and the fight came to a holt.   
Vampires were retreating to the hotel but Simon still couldn’t see Raphael. A spike of fear ripped through him as he went in search for the other.

“Lily” he called when he she was close enough “have you seen Raphael?”

“Traitor” she hissed “I haven’t and he’s none of your concern the clan will find him”

Simon huffed angrily and stomped away. Raphael was his concern, not as a member of the clan he had forfeited that right when he sided with clary to release Camille but as his soulmate and Simon had to make sure he was okay, it’s the least he could do.

“Simon where are you going the sun is coming up” Isabelle yelled after him when he ran past her. He’d rather death than walk away safe without knowing Raphael is fine.

Simon searched the dock and several of the abandoned containers before he finally found Raphael’s battered body. Camille sitting on a thorn like chair among the rumbles.

“I knew you’d come looking for him my little caramel” She smiled sickenly sweet at Simon “he’s not dead, yet” she added with a hum and got up the meet Simon, whom was frozen still, his fist balled up at his side.

“Why are you doing this?” Simon asked through gritted teeth, his fangs dropping “you’re free”

“He took what was mine and I’m taking it back, starting with you and then the clan”

“I don’t belong to you” Simon hissed “I never did”

“But you belong to him yes? Simon Lewis?” Camille had bent down and picked up Raphael’s wrist “I bet you have his right here” her nails pressing down into his skin through the fabric of his jacket.

Was fast, faster than Simon had anticipated, one minute she has a death grip on his arm, twisting it behind his back until the bones popped and cracked and the next she was holding a wooden stake above Raphael’s heart. Simon cradled his now broken arm and let out an agonizing screaming.

“I’ll kiss him goodbye for you” Camille smirked at Simon before dropping her head low, her lips ghosting over Raphael’s.

The thing about fledging is that their faster and stronger than their elders. However still unskilled.

Simon leaped forward slamming Camille to the floor “don’t touch him” he managed to spit out before Camille is on her feet again, Simon followed her every move, it had became a game of who would strike first, in the end it was Camille, her clawed hand wrapping around Simon’s neck and threw him against a wall.

“You think you can fight me” her laughter echoed through the shipping container “many have tried but centuries of training can’t come undone to a fledgling”

Simon got up against the protest of his aching body “you’re a real bitch you know that” Simon placed a hand on the walls to stead his wobbly knees.

Camille’s laughter sounded like she had found his words to be the most amusing thing in the world “thank you darling, if you’re done with your compliments I’d like to move on with my killing of you then his traitor” she added, stepping on Raphael’s chest with her heels.

“He’s so pathetic” Camille snarled looking down at Raphael “I gave him everything, a place in my clan, made him my second in command and then he steps out of place, but you” her finger pointed at Simon “you did the very same to him, excepted never liked me and I never liked him, it was bound to happen, you however, you’re his beloved soulmate”

Camille had been too distracted with her speech that she hadn’t notice Simon’s arm had healed, he rushed towards again, knocking her off her feet.

Simon used all his strength to pin her down to the floor while one his hand blindly searched for the wooden strake that laid close by.   
“I’d tell you to go to hell but of course you’d want to go home” Simon said before driving the stake into her heart. Camille’s screams seems to linger in the air long after her body had combusted.

“Oh g–” he choked on the words as he crawled towards Raphael’s battered body “Raphael” Simon gasped.

Simon pulled Raphael into his arms and held him tightly, bloody tears burning his eyes as it run down to his cheek.

“I’m so sorry, please wake up, please Raph, I can’t lose you, I love you” Simon cried.

“I can’t believe I did this to you” Simon whispered before the bright flash of purple caught his eyes.The portal opened and Magnus and Alec stepped out.   
“Oh god Simon what happened” Magnus asked rushing to his side.   
“Camille” Simon said between his sobs “no don’t touch him” he scolded when Magnus moved his hand towards Raphael.   
“I can help him” Magnus said even though he retreated his hand “let me help him, still alive but barely”. Simon looked up at Magnus hopefully “trust me I don’t want to lose another one of my friend to this war”  
Simon nodded and let go when Magnus called Alec over to take Raphael. Magnus had reopened a portal to carry them to his loft.   
Simon and Alec sat side by side in Magnus’ living room while the warlock worked alone with Raphael in the spare bedroom.   
“how did you find us?” Simon asked sipping on a cup of blood that Magnus had provided.   
“You know how you’d look for Clary no matter what when she’s needs you or how I’d give up the world to protect my brothers and sister, to Magnus, Raphael is family, he’ll always look out for him” Alec said with a shrug.  
When Magnus emerged from the room, the sun had begun to sun. “He’s fine but sleeping and yes you can see him, I can’t deny you the right to be with your soulmate” Magnus said before Simon had gotten his words out. “Thank you” Simon grinned and embraced Magnus and went off to the spare room.  
Raphael looked paler than ever, his dark hair standing out against his pale face. Simon sat on the cushion. “Hey” he whispered though Raphael couldn’t hear him, his fingers traced the SL that laid bare on the bed “I’m sorry”.  
How much time that passed since Simon last left Raphael’s side he didn’t know, could have been a couple of days, maybe a week.  
One night Simon’s watching as leafs dance to the howling wind. He hummed the tune of ‘tale as old as time’ from beauty and the beast.   
“That was one of my favorite songs”   
“Fuck” Simon cursed clutching his heart.   
Raphael laughed and Simon doesn’t think he had heard a sound more beautiful than that. Raphael was sitting up in bed, his body slouched and his hair messy, so unlike him, yet Simon stares at him.   
Simon slowly and tentatively moved closer. “How are you feeling?”   
“Well I’m not dead” Raphael shrugged and reached on the bedside table to take one of the glasses on blood that sat there “Thank you Simon, you saved me”  
“I was cleaning up the mess I made, Camille’s dead, the clan is yours now, no more treats, I shouldn’t have let her go in the first place, I truly am so-“  
“I had to listen to you apologize all week Lewis, let it go”  
“You heard me?” Simon asked gaping at Raphael.  
“I did, every word, I was badly hurt, takes a lot of energy and time to heal, but my mind was conscious for the most part”   
“So you ready everything?”   
Raphael rolled his eyes and scuffed “yes”  
“I confessed something and I’m sure you heard it, do you, you know l-“  
“Simon I can’t” Because monsters can’t love, even when they are in love. “not now”  
“That’s not a no” Simon pointed out.   
“Nor is it a yes” Raphael said, his eyes looking at anything but Simon.   
“We’re soulmates, we’re supposed to be together”   
“How can you love me? I’m the reason you’re vampire, how can you think of me as anything but a monster?”  
Simon scoffed “Being a vampire is one of the best things to ever happen to me, I didn’t want it, but you helped me so much, and you’re not a monster. The only thing I ever regret is saying that you were, can we at least try to work on us?”  
“There’s nothing to work on” Raphael paused “because I love you too Simon”


End file.
